Challenge trade for neko_erin in naruto_fanworks.

Shortfic (I think this was only supposed to be somwhere between 100 and 300 words, but, dammit, I got carried away. O.o;;). Name a pairing, and 3 things you want in there. Simmer, stir, and boom! Fic!

So here's mine. Hope it doesn't suck THAT much. Neji/Naruto, a pairing that I've come to absolutely adore. Needed snow, a candy cane, and a blanket. It's utter fluff -- I don't DO fluff, EVER, and I suspect that realistically Neji wouldn't either, but it's hard to angst out in a situation like that. Pretty OoC, I think. *cringes* (Hey, they're incredibly snarky in my head tonight, for some reason. e.e;;) Er. Some nudity and mature themes. Shounen-ai. (Go figure.) Completely un-betaed.

So, um. neko_erin, kick my ass!



hyuga persuasion
(you took me to your parlor)

"That's wholly inappropriate," Neji muttered, lifting his head a moment to glance at Naruto.

Naruto, who was, at the moment, wrapped up in a fuzzy blue blanket and poking at Neji's bum with a pink and green striped candy cane. All in all, the whole thing was entirely ridiculous -- the world would have ended ten times over before he would have ever imagined himself in his current position, snowed in at the younger boy's apartment and not clawing at the door in a frantic attempt at escape. Even more inconcievable that he would be like this, nude and resting contentedly on Naruto's bed, watching the snow fall outside the window.

The other boy snickered, and poked at him again.

Neji took a somewhat unmotivated swipe at the offending object before letting his head drop back down to the crook of his arm. Naruto grinned and stuck his tongue out at him. "Are you going to stop me?"

"Don't show off your tools if you're not prepared to use them."

Naruto's mouth made a small 'o' of surprise at that. "A challenge?" Neji's pale eyes were slitted into a rather ferocious-looking glare, but the effect was ruined by the smirk, Neji-speak for a full-out laugh.

"I could always just go home," Neji said calmly. "And you could spend the rest of the day alone with your teddy bear and your right hand."

The blond put on a pout and stuffed the candy cane into his mouth, sucking at it thoughtfully. "I'm afraid that would not be the brightest of ideas, Mr. Frowny-face. You see, my floor seems to have taken your clothes hostage, and it would probably not be for the best to have little Neji greeting Konoha. Sasuke just might lose his following, and then he might get, y'know, all surly or something."

"And besides, it's the left." He added after a moment, using the candy cane to poke at the corresponding cheek.

Neji snorted. "Is that so?" This time, he managed to catch Naruto's arm at the wrist, slim fingers clasped around it in a deathlock. "You've made my ass sticky," he deadpanned. "Fix it."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, caught in an unannounced staring contest with those eerie pale eyes. Unable to think of anything better to do, he stuck his tongue out at the Hyuga prodigy again.

"That will be fine."

At least Naruto had the grace to blush, although the glint in his eyes was anything but cute and innocent. "And if I say no?"

"Well, then." Neji seemed to ponder that a moment. "I'll just have to persuade you, won't I?"

Naruto returned to sucking the candy, his expression thoughtful. "I've always wondered about Hyuga persuasion techniques, myself. Are they really all they're cracked up to be? Or is it just a bunch of -- oomph!"

He found himself quite suddenly trapped inside the pale cage of Neji's arms and legs, staring up at the older boy in surprise.

Neji grinned down at Naruto, the candy cane clamped tightly between his teeth. He let the boy squirm a moment before tossing the offensive candy towards the area where a garbage can should have logically (even though he severely doubted /anything/ about Naruto was even the least bit logical) been. "You were saying something?"

"Er, ahm . . . um?"

"Ah. And does that belong among the unforgettable famous words of wisdom from my future hokage?"

Naruto took a deep breath. He was about to say something, but Neji had long before decided there were better uses for such a mouth.

When he kissed him, it tasted like strawberries.

- - -

Er . . . yeah. I can't really defend this one. If you're quick, you just might catch random Happy Noodle Boy and Blue Monday references. If not, it might still be amusing anyway.

If anyone else has a request/trade idea, I'm up for it! (Ph33r my masochism!)